Banger Love
by BlackJack983
Summary: Shaundi is always in favor of the Saint's leader, but Pierce is constantly ignored. But what does Shaundi really think of him? Now a series, takes place during Saints Row: The Third
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A bright light shone through the window, waking Shaundi up. Crawling out of bed, she brought her hand to her head. A bottle of vodka sat on her nightstand.

"Ow," she moaned softly. "What happened?"

She scanned the room. She was at her house, and everything seemed in order. After taking a quick shower, she got in her Voyage, and drove to Pierce's apartment. He was waiting outside, frustrated.

"What took you so long?" Pierce asked.

Shaundi just grinned. "Overslept. Now get in, Boss got some work for us."

Pierce closely followed Shaundi into his office. The Saint's leader reclined on his chair, smoking a cigar. He smiled at the sight of his lieutenants coming in.

"Got something for us?" Pierce asked.

"Of course," he said calmly. "I need you two to get some guy taken care of. Guy's been bald talkin us for quite a while, and I want him gone." With a wave of his hand, the saint dismissed them.

As both got into Pierce's Bulldog, Shaundi looked at him.

"You feelin alright?" she asked.

Confused, Pierce asked, "What you mean?"

"Well, every time you're around the boss, you seem distant." She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Come on. Talk to me."

"It's just…it's just that whenever I come up with a plan, he always thinks I stole it from you. I feel unappreciated."

"Well, someone appreciates you." She reached up, and her soft, red lips touched his. "I really appreciate you. Now come on, we got someone to waste."

Driving off, Pierce tuned to the classical music station. Shaundi fell asleep. He looked at her, admiring her body. Keeping one hand on the wheel, he reached out and grabbed her breast.

"Mmm," she said in her sleep. "That fells good." She then placed her hand between her legs. Shaundi now moaned louder. "Mmm, Pierce…"

A smile came onto his face as he accidentally hit the gas pedal. The Bulldog accelerated, and ran someone over. As luck would have it, it was the one they were tasked to eliminate. Shaundi, awake, looked out the window.

"That the guy?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," Pierce responded.

"At least we got the job done. Now let's get out of here. How bout' we got to your place? It's not far from here?"

After they completed their assignment, both went back to Pierce's penthouse. Shaundi sat on the couch watching TV as Pierce brought in two cold beers.

"Another job well done," Pierce said as he handed the beverage to her.

She took a gulp before responding. "Tell me something, you like working for the boss?"

"I guess so."

"And yet he's got eyes on me, and completely ignores you. Doesn't that bother you?"

"What are you, a psychologist? But to answer your question, yeah. I mean, I came up with the casino plan and-"

"No you didn't. I mean, you did, but Gat and the boss thought of something else."

"True. I mean, it's just so fucking annoying." He turned to Shaundi. "What about you? What's your place with him?"

"I guess he likes me," Shaundi said. "I've seen the way he looks at me, like some slut, even though I am. That's probably the reason why he favors me over you." She reached out and grabbed Pierce's hand. "I'm sorry."

"I ain't you fault. I just messed up is all. Maybe we could-" His words were stopped mid-sentence when Shaundi kissed him. She stood up, removed her clothes, and led Pierce into the bedroom.

The next morning, Pierce and Shaundi lay on the bed, covered only by a thin blanket.

"Hey, Shaundi?" Pierce said.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"What are the chances of me getting some mutant STD?"

She looked at him, stroking his cheeks. "You used a condom, so I'd say 1 in a million." Shaundi left the bed, covering herself with a blanket. "I'm gonna go get some coffee. You want anything?"

"No thanks." As she left the room, Pierce wondered if this was the start of a beautiful relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Pierce shut the door as Shaundi placed her keys into the ignition. Both didn't say a word as the drove to Purgatory. Inside, the boss, deep in thought, lay on the couch.

"What to do?" he said to himself. When he saw Shaundi and Pierce, he quickly got up. "Hey…um, what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean 'what are we doing here?'" Shaundi asked. "We got your call, and here we are."

He thought for a moment, and remembered. "Oh yeah, now I remember. Right, another job."

"Who is it?" Pierce asked.

He pulled out a photo, and handed it to him. On the picture was Lin, or it appeared to be. "Some girl's walking around pretending to be Lin. Gat and I are pissed. Don't kill her, just bring her here."

With that, he dismissed them. Reaching the cabinet's handle, the saint pulled out a picture of the real Lin, his arm over her shoulder. Both were smiling, without a care in the world.

"Must be really pissed if they're asking us to bring someone alive," Shaundi said. "Lin must have been close to them." As they drove around, she spotted the imposter. "Look, there she is!"

Upon seeing them, the impostor made a run for it. Both Saints drew tasers, and ran after her. Pierce leaped forward, tackling the impostor to the ground.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!" she screamed. "I'm Gat's sis!"

"Right, and I'm the boss's little brother," Pierce said. Looking at the imposter, Pierce noted the resemblance to Lin. "All right, if you're Lin, then what's the boss's real name?"

The false Lin bowed her head, ashamed and defeated.

"That's what I thought."

Walking out of Purgatory after dropping the impostor off, Shaundi asked, "What now?"

"Don't know," Pierce simply said. "Nothing to do."

"You know what, I've got it. Let's go to a movie. Iron Man 2's on at the old theater. Not far from here."

"Down with that."

As both took their seats, the boss came into the theater. He noticed the pair, and took a seat between them.

"Sup guys," he cheerfully said. "Didn't think I'd see you here."

"Yeah," Shaundi said sarcastically. "Weird, right?"

During the movie, the boss frequently made attempts at getting Shaundi's attention. Shaundi glared at him, getting him to stop. After Iron Man 2 ended, all three walked out.

"That was a great movie," the boss said. "So…uh, Shaundi, how bout' I drive you home?"

Thinking quickly, Shaundi grabbed Pierce's arm. "That's ok. Pierce is taking me home, right?" When he didn't respond, she nudged him on the arm. "Right, Pierce?"

"Huh, oh yeah!" Pierce exclaimed. "Yeah, I'm gonna drive her home now. So I guess we'll see you later."

Shaundi could have sworn she saw the boss's eye twitch. Apparently, he didn't react well to rejection. As they drove off, both stayed silent until they reached her house.

Getting out, Shaundi asked, "Look, about what happened back there…"

"It's alright. Besides, I know how much you hate the guy. Um, mind if I come in?"

"Sure."

Walking inside, Pierce scanned the room. As Shaundi went into her room, Pierce took the time to study her home. A black leather couch sat in front of a large flat-screen TV, with an Xbox 360 and a PS3 hooked up to it. The walls were covered with hanged photos of herself in various stages of life. In one photo, Shaundi was with several kids, wearing strange armor with the initials KND. Pierce was about to ask when Shaundi came in, wearing a leather cat suit and holding a whip.

"Oh my…"Pierce said.

"You like?" Shaundi seductively said. She walked toward Pierce, grinning as she went. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Shaundi pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. It was passionate, their emotions running high. Breaking off, she led him to the bedroom.

The boss pulled up near the driveway. Noticing a car parked, he sighed. Knowing Shaundi, she must have brought someone with her. Getting out of his Zenith, the boss crept around the yard, and looked into the bedroom window.

"Son of a bitch," he growled. Ducking down, his heart sank. Clenching his fist, he swore that he will get back at Pierce.

In the morning, Pierce slept, not felling the movement of Shaundi leaving the bed. Covering herself with a robe, she walked outside. There was a sound of movement behind her. Aiming her gun, she saw that it was the boss.

"Oh, it's you," Shaundi said. "Um, why are you at my house?"

"Just passing by," he said. "thought I come and visit you. Can I come in?"

"No! I mean, I was just sorting some things, so it's a mess."

"Then I'll help you."

"But-"

He grabbed her arm tightly, anger visible on his features. "I said, I'll help you."

As the boss walked in, Pierce heard his footsteps. He was taking no chances. Gathering his clothes, Pierce crawled out of the window, and ran off.

"I told you," Shaundi said as the boss scanned the bedroom. "It's a mess."

"No kidding," he replied. "So, how bout' we go get lunch?"

"I'd love to, but I've gotta help a friend of mine with a project. Kid doesn't know how to grow pot."

"All right, I'll see you later." With that, the saint left.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Shaundi called out, "You can come back in."

Pierce crawled back into the room. "That was close. How we gonna keep this up?"

"As long as we can, Pierce. As long as we can."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Shaundi brought the coffee cup to her lips, sipping it. It had now been a few months since her relationship with Pierce had been made known. As expected, the boss was furious, and typically had saints attempt to sabotage the relationship. The only person who supported them was Gat, since he knew how they felt.

"Seeing the two of you reminds me of Aisha," he had said. "Makes me miss her. Anyway, if he tries to fuck things up, let me know."

True to his word, Gat "convinced" several saints sent by the boss to go home. Suddenly, a sharp pain throbbed in her stomach. Putting the cup down, Shaundi ran to the bathroom. She expunged vomit into the bowl of the toilet. Feeling another sharp pain, Shaundi brought her hand between her legs, and blood was visible on her fingers.

"Oh no…" Shaundi moaned.

Later, Shaundi placed the sample of urine in the small stick. A blue line streaked across it. The test was positive. Angrily, Shaundi threw the pregnancy test against the wall.

She brought her face into her hands, crying uncontrollably. The possibility of having to raise a baby would certainly convince Pierce to leaver her. Getting up, she brought the pregnancy test, and walked over to the living room, where Pierce was.

"You all right?" he asked.

Sitting down, Shaundi said, "Pierce, there's something I need to show you." She handed him the bar, tears falling down her eyes. "Pierce, I love you. Please don't leave me."

"Hey, hey, calm down." Pierce brought her closer to him, stroking her dreads. "I'm here for you. Don't forget that."

2 months later

Shaundi brought the pickles and sardines sandwich to her mouth, eating it whole. Pierce looked on, disgusted. Ever since the first trimester ended, she began having a hunger for strange and disgusting foods. As for the unborn child, despite all the diseases Shaundi has, the baby will end up fine.

Finishing her meal, Shaundi said, "All right, let's go."

"You sure about this?" Pierce asked. "I mean, you're pregnant, and you want to kill some Samedi. Maybe you should-"

"No!" Shaundi was visibly tense. It's moments like these Pierce hated hormones. "Let's juts go. I'll be fine."

Pierce fired from the window as more Samedi bangers were coming. Shaundi just sat there, puking out vomit. Across from them were the remains of the General's limo. As for the General, as soon as he saw the saints, he made a run for it. They watched the boss go after him, armed with an RPG.

"Think we should help him?" Pierce asked.

"Might as well," Shaundi answered. She slowly wobbled up, helped up by several saints.

A loud explosion could be heard just near by. Upon seeing the boss finish off the General in his Bulldog, Taking a cigar from the General the boss got in the remains of the Bulldog, and drove to the surface.

As the saints left the mall, Shaundi went up to the limo. As she examined it, se rubber her belly.

"Hey," Shaundi began. "Pierce, you think this can still work?"

Pierce thought about it for a few moments. "Maybe, though we gotta get it to a mechanic. And it need a new paint job."

"At least we got something out of this." Shaundi opened the door, taking the back seat. "Come on, get in."

Back in Purgatory, Pierce went into the fridge, and found a beer with his name on it.

"Weird, but I'll take it."

He too the beverage, and drank it down in one gulp. A sudden sensation erupted in his stomach. He quickly ran to the bathroom, and released all he can expunge. Outside, he can hear the boss laughing.

"Got the beer, have you?" he chuckled. "That's what you get for getting my girl pregnant."

"What's you problem?" Pierce raged. For the past months, the boss has been pulling pranks. So far, he hasn't used the beer trick before. "I didn't see her make a move on you! And - ohhh!"

"Hurts, ain't it? Well, I gotta go. Mareo isn't going to kill himself ya know!" As the boss left, Shaundi wobbled next to the bathroom.

"You okay, babe?" Shaundi asked.

"Umm, Shaundi? I think you should get some more toilet paper, and a plunger."


	4. Prank Wars

Chapter 4: Prank Wars

Pierce made his way into the boss's penthouse. After the last prank, Pierce could take it no more. Brining out a stink bomb, Pierce smiled as he placed it under the bed.

Tired, the Saint's leader opened the door. He had just killed Mareo and what remained of the brotherhood at Ultor Dome. Yawning, he slipped into his pajamas, and lay down on the bed. He heard a click below the bed, and he looked under. A cloud of stink exploded onto him, and spread through out the penthouse.

"Oh my god!" the boss said, covering his nose.

The gas was now green in color. He couldn't see a thing. With his arm outstretched, the boss made his way into the bathroom. Suddenly, he slipped on a puddle left on the floor.

"What the fuck is this?" He closely examined it, and smelled a disgusting odor from it. "Oh, fucking gross!"

Crawling backwards, the boss got into the shower. He striped his clothes off, and turned the knob. Instead of warm water, yellow urine fell from the shower faucet and onto him. He tried to turn the knob, but it was stuck tight.

Having enough, the boss leaped out of the shower. Then he noticed a purple cap behind the toilet. Looking into it, he saw a label with the name Pierce.

Pierce walked out of the front door, humming Bad Romance. He was going to get groceries since Shaundi was in no condition to go anywhere. As he got in the Hunfor, he noticed a strange smell. Thinking nothing of it, he pulled the knob. Suddenly, a stink bomb detonated, as well as triggering fireworks. Shaundi came running out, carrying a Kobra.

"Oh my god," she whispered. "Pierce! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, crawling out. "I got grazed by fireworks, smell really bad, but I'm fine."

"What do you think happened?"

"What do you think, the boss pranked me."

Shaundi looked away. "I think I've got an idea. Something I picked up back in elementary." She beckoned him to follow, and went inside the garage.

The boss walked to the golf course. Although he didn't admit it, he always had a thing for golf. Gave him some time to think alone.

The boss got out his golf stick, and struck the ball. It flew straight into the hole, then something large came out of the pond. It was a large, transparent green stink bomb with the insignia of the saints. It also had a beeping antenna jutting out of the top. A nitrous pipe ignited, sending the bomb flying straight for him.

"Oh shit!" he yelled.

The boss ran as fast as his legs could take him, but it wasn't fast enough. The bomb struck him from behind, carrying him on course to another bomb closing in. The impact sent the Saint's leader flying into a pool filled with mud mixed with wastes.

Much later

The doorbell ringed, and Shaundi went to answer it. It was the boss, covered in shit and mud, waving a white flag.

"Pierce," Shaundi yelled out. "You need to see this."

Pierce's eyes widened as he entered the room.

"I can't take it," the boss said. "I can't take it anymore. You win." He threw the flag to the ground, and stalked off.

Shaundi looked at Pierce. He met her gaze, and pulled her close to him, kissing her, then slamming the door shut.


	5. Parenthood

Parenthood

"Come on, Shaundi!" Pierce urged. "Push!"

Shaundi screamed at the top of her lungs as she let out another thrust. Doctors were all around her, one in front to catch the child when he or she comes out. After another few minutes of pain, a baby started crying.

A doctor reached out, and pulled the newborn out of Shaundi. "It's a boy."

"Mike," she said. "His name's Mike."

Pierce walked over and kissed Shaundi on the forehead. "You did good, babe."

Shaundi was about to say something when she felt another push. "Oh shit."

"Yep," the Doctor said. "There's another one. I can see the head!"

Shaundi threw her head back and screamed as another child came out of her, a girl.

16 years later

Callie Washington leaned on her custom white and purple Voxel, smoking a cigarette. She was enjoying the peace and quiet when her phone started vibrating. She brought it up to her head and said, "Speak."

"You gotta get over the the school, pronto," Shaundi said.

"Mom, no offense, but I only go to school when I want to."

"Mike's about to fuck Mikaela, and you know how I feel about her."

Callie tossed aside her cigarette. "Mom, do you really have to get invovled in Mike's love life?"

"Walk in on them or I'll cut off your weed allowance."

That was enough encouragement for her. She quickly leapt into her car, and drove off into the direction of the school.

Mike crept into the principal's office. He reached into the drawer, and pulled out a large bottle of voidka. The old man has been robbed fifteen times for the past month, and some of the other Saints robbed him as well, especially the Gat sisters. Reaching the abandoned classroom, he opened the door, and held up the bottle.

"Got the booze," he said.

"Good," Mikaela said. Only child of the Boss, Mikaela was next in line for control of the Saints. "Got anything else?"

"Yeah." Pulling out a bag, he tossed it over to her. "Some good shit in there. Mom always gets good weed."

"Now we can get to the fun part." Setting down the wine bottle, Mikaela got up, and pulled off her shirt. Her bra was a mix of purple and black, and her tight jeans were removed to reveal a lacy black thong. She unbuckled his pants, and removed his boxers.

She pulled Mike closer to her, her legs wide open. Just as things were about to go further, Callie came into the room.

"Interrupting something?" Callie asked.

"No," Mike said, pulling away from Mikaela. Pulling his pants back up, he said, "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Mikaela said. As he left the room, she flicked Callie off. Callie grinned, and made a cut throat gesture. She slammed the door shut.

As the bell rung, Callie asked, "Just what do you see in her?"

"Got a problem?" Mike asked.

"No, but she's such a bitch. And Mom asked me to do this."

Mike sighed. "Why the hell does she have to get involved in things like this? I got a life too."

"She's just looking out for you. Dad too. You know the story about them and the Boss. Just don't want it to repeat. And Mikaela's always a mean bitch to me. Ever since we were kids."

"Her dad's the boss, so she's got a reason to act stuck up."

Callie put her hands on her hips, scowling. "Still, I don't like it."

Some hours later

Callie meet up with Jenny and Nikki. Both daughters of Johnny Gat, the sisters were just as hard headed as their father.

"How's my favorite twin psychos been doing?" Callie asked by way of greeting.

"Nothing much," Jenny said.

"But your sparring partner's been cheating on your bro with some mechanic," Nikki replied.

"What?"

"True, we even got pics to prove it," Nikki said. The photos depicted Mikaela with another man, his arm around her shoulder.

"Oh shit. You know what this means?"

"What?"

"We have a chance to get back at her."

"You crazy?" Jenny asked. "She'll kill us!"

"Not a chance. My parents may have problems with the Boss, but they always cover up the fights I have with that bitch. Now let's jump her."

Walking out a 7Eleven, Mikaela sipped her iced coffee. She strolled down the sidewalk, without a care in the world. With a ragged yell, Callie, Jenny, and Nikki jumped Mikaela.

"Hey!" Mikaela screamed. "What the fuck are you doing?"

First, you bullied me," Callie said, her tone dripping with malice. "Then you gave me a swirlie. Then pantsed me in front of the cheer squad. Now you're cheating on my bro. That's low, even for you."

"I'm not cheating on him!"

"Oh yeah? Then what's this?" Lin showed her the photos of her and the mechanics. "You two are real friendly alright."

"He's just a friend. In case if you hadn't noticed, Mike's birthday was coming up. I wanted to get him something special. When Cody said he had a Kaneda protobike, I gave him 20K for it. But I didn't sleep with him."

Mikaela threw Callie off, and slapped her. She turned on her heel, and walked off, giving Jenny and Nikki the bird. The twins helped Callie up, then walked away too.


	6. Call of the Saints

Although childish, the students of Stilwater middle and high school are on a field trip to the zoo, where birds of all kinds run loose. Callie, Mike, Mikaela and Jenny were wearing safari helmets, following their teachers.

"Why the fuck are we at a zoo?" Mikaela asked out loud. "We're not little kids!"

"Principal thinks it'll calm down anyone who's a Saint," George said, eating granola. An odd Saint, George was a strange cross between a hippie and a banger. "And besides, there's nothing wrong with being in a zoo."

"Shut up, George, before I shove that granola up your ass."

Ignoring Mikaela's whining, Callie asked, "What's that panda doing there?"

Everyone looked to where Lin pointed to. A panda somehow ended up in the lion exhibit. Zoo keepers immediately rushed to the scene, tranquilizer rifles at the ready. The panda reared up, and grabbed one of the big cats. Before the horrified eyes of the crowd, the bear went behind, and violated the lion.

"That's so gross," Jenny said. "If anyone needs me, I'll be indisposed."

Mikaela laughed as the zoo keepers were struggling to wrestle the panda away. Finally, they shot dozens of darts into the black and white creature, knocking it out cold.

"That was hilarious," Mikaela laughed, wiping tears off her eyes. Callie smacked her behind the head, knocking her to the ground.

"You're right," Callie said. "That was funny."

Meanwhile, Jenny walked out of the bathroom. "Better catch up with the others."

Her eyes were suddenly caught by the elephant exhibit just across from here. A wide smile formed across her face. She calmly walked over to the gate, and unlocked it. Climbing a tree, Jenny jumped onto one of the elephants, interrupting it's meal.

"Sweet!" Jenny exclaimed. "Let's ride." She smacked the elephant's head, rearing the massive creature. Little did Jenny know that she is riding on the herd's leader, so wherever he goes, they go.

At the dolphin exhibit, everyone heard the sound of rampaging elephants.

"What the fuck?" Mike sees one of the elephants storming into the arena. "Shit!"

"Anyone who wants to live, TAKE COVER!" Mikaela and the other saints jump away with other students to dodge the elephant as it runs through the seat rows.

"AAAAAHHH!" Callie screamed. "They're gonna kill us all!"

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" George asks as he looks up... and sees the elephants storming all over the zoo, smashing and destroying cages & exhibits, releasing the animals inside them. They join the elephants in attacking and throwing around zoo-goers and zookeepers.

"SAINTS, WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE NOW!" Mikaela shouts as she helped Callie offstage, and George joined them to escape the zoo with their class. Once they're on the street, goats and llamas seperate the students and teachers. Mike and Nikki later joined them. "Hey, where's Jenny?"

Both shrugged. "Last time we saw her," Nikki began. "She was at the bathroom."

"How many of the students here are Saints?"

"Fifty of them."

"Tell them that Mikaela is here, and send a dozen of them to find Jenny. NOW!"

Zoo birds soar above the Purgatory as a monkey made its way into the nightclub. It made it's way into the bar, and drank an entire bottle of voidka. The boss looked up, and saw the monkey. Quietly creeping toward the primate, he pulled out a gun. Looking up from it's drink, the monkey pulled out a shotgun from underneath the counter, and fired.

Despite missing, the boss shouted, "Shit!" He turned around, only to come face to face with a legion of various primates. A gorilla grabbed him, and tied him to a chair. The boss sighed, wondering how this happened.

Jenny was still riding the herd leader when Lin found her.

"How is hanging?" Aisha casually asked.

"How it-never mind," Callie said. "Jenny, mind telling me what you're doing riding an elephant?"

"Umm…"

"You let them out, didn't you?"

Jenny grinned. "It was just harmless fun."

"Harmless fun? Because of you, gorillas are jacking cars and robbing stores." When she saw Aisha frown, she lightened up. "But this will be our secret. Just say that one of the zoo keepers let them free."

"Thanks."

Climbing on the elephant's back, Lin said, "Come on. We gotta find the others and get them out of here."

It took several days, but the police force managed to round up most of the animals, and return them to the zoo.

Mikaela led the saints back into Purgatory. "Well, now that we done, let's get fucked up." She opened the doors, only to find the Boss tied to a chair, monkeys crawling over him. "Oh shit."


	7. Syndication

Syndication

"I am a method actor," Josh Birk proclaimed. A famous actor who joined the Saints for a new movie role, Josh has been nothing short of an annoying moron. "If I'm going to play a Saint with any degree of emotional truth, I gotta make it real."

Shaundi sighed, trying to hold down the urge to gun down Birk. Of all the people the boss could have chosen to help him with the heist, it had to be her. But she wasn't surprised. Even after all these years, he was still infatuated with her, despite being married and with two kids.

"It'll be real alright," Johnny Gat said. "And the easiest money you'll ever make. You ready for this?" He pulled out two Desert Eagles and handed them to Birk.

"No worries." He spun them around, but dropped, and picked them up quickly. "I do my own stunts."

"This isn't going to end well," Shaundi mumbled.

"C'mon," the boss said. "Lighten up. It's not like this is the first time we've done something like this."

She turned to face him, wondering why he was such an asshole. "Why are we bothering to do this? Aren't we rich?"

"Yeah, but I could use a little excitement now and then. And Mikaela should tag along, instead of being mean to the other Saints."

"Amen to that." Johnny reached into the bag again, and pulled out for bobble-head masks in his image. "At least Jenny and Nikki could fight. Took out three hundred fools when they were five."

Josh raised an eyebrow when Gat threw a mask at him. "You're robbing a bank dressed at yourselves?"

"Hell yeah, who doesn't wanna be Johnny Gat?"

"Ultra-post modernism." Birk placed the mask over his head, and the voice changer kicked in. "I love it."

* * *

Mikaela sat in disgust as she watched Nikki and Aisha devouring their burgers in a very unladylike manner. Lin and Mike barely touched their food, while George ate a vegetarian meal.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Mikaela asked. "Maybe you two could stop splattering ketchup all over me and eating like slobs!"

"Sorry, little princess," Jenny replied. "Can't help it."

"At least we're not fat," Nikki said, giving Jenny some dap.

Mikaela sighed, rubbing her eyes. "I can't believe you two are going to me my right hands when I lead the Saints. How could anyone be seen with people like you two?"

"Do us all a favor, Mikaela, and shut the fuck up," Lin berated. "And what makes you think you're gonna be leader of the Saints?"

Mikaela jabbed her finger at Callie. "My dad's the boss, therefore when he hits the can, I take over."

"Mikaela, you're as useful in a gunfight as an Ultor rent-a-cop, so what makes you think you have what it takes to step up?"

"Oh shut up, you useless bitch."

Callie stood up, ready for a fight. "You shut up, you pathetic, arrogant, psycho whore."

"No, you shut up."

"Hey, babe," Mike said. "Maybe you should just calm down."

But when the boss' daughter was like this, there was no calming her down. "Stay out of this. Now where was I? Right, Lin, all I can say is that judging by your upbringing; you shouldn't even be a Saint. Come on, a loser dad and a junkie for a mom? Now that's sure to breed some fucked up kids like you."

That was the last straw. Lin leaped from her seat, and tackled Mikaela to the floor. She grabbed a large knife from her boot, and was ready to go in for the kill, but a strong hand gripped her wrist.

"Don't," Mike said. She did as he said, then he turned to Mikaela. "You talk about my parents like that again, and I'll personally fuck you up, you feel me?"

Mikaela smirked as if nothing happened. "No need to be hostile, cause we're through. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an appointment with Stefan."

Callie sighed and turned to Mike. "What did you see in her?"

"She's the Boss's daughter," he answered. "And she's a screamer."

"Fuck yeah," Nikki yelled, with her mouth full.

"Don't talk with your mouth full!" Aisha said.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

* * *

"Just fucking great," Shaundi complained. "Not only did we get arrested, that asshole Birk ditched us. And it's your fault."

Across the damp cell, the boss shrugged and gave a childish grin. "Don't you think you're getting a little over dramatic? And besides, this isn't our first heist."

"And I'm guessing it won't be the last?"

He placed his arm around her shoulder, still grinning. "Got that right. And when Ultor bails us out, we'll-"

"Ultor's not going to help us this time," Gat said, lying on a bench. "Apparently, we robbed some European guy's bank, and Troy says there's no way out this time."

"Well that's fucking great!"

Shaundi found herself on the floor, in a fetal position. "Oh god, I can't go back. I just got outta rehab."

The boss was about to make a smartass comment but was stopped short. His eyes went blank as he fell onto the floor hard, with a dart lodged in his neck. A few seconds later, both Shaundi and Gat were unconscious as well.

* * *

Mikaela now had a choice to make: a fur coat or a purple dress? Now that she'd broken things off with that loser she called a boyfriend, the saint princess was free to find a new fuck toy.

"Hmm, guys always noticed me in this," she said to herself, eyeing a white short skirt. Just then, she felt a hand grip her shoulder. She turned around, ready to give the assailant a piece of her mind. "Don't you fucking-" But a roundhouse punch sent her sprawling of the floor.

* * *

This was not a good day, the leader of the Saints thought. Not only did he get arrested after a failed bank heist, but he, Shaundi, and Gat were kidnapped and being held in what seemed like a plane. Sitting before them was a well-dressed man, possibly in his sixties, smoking a cigarette. Standing on both sides were what appeared to be twin sisters, with tight black clothing displaying well-endowed chests and hour-glass curves.

"Ah," the man said, in a heavy French accent. "You're awake."

The boss gave the French man the nastiest look he could give. "Do you have any idea who you're fucking with?"

"Of course." One of the twins set a small Johnny Gat bobble head on the man's desk. "A remarkable likeness, no?" He gestured to the twins behind him. "These visions are Viola and Kiki DeWynter, and I am Phillipe Loren, chairman of a multinational organization known as the Syndicate."

Shaundi, now awake, said, "Never heard of it."

Phillipe took a big whiff of his cigarette and walked towards them. "Evidently not nor would you have robbed my bank. Perhaps you are wondering why you are still breathing at this point?"

"Actually," Gat began. "I wonder why my foot's not up your ass at this point."

Phillipe allowed a small smile before that serious expression returned. "Like it or not, Mr. Gat, my organization is taking control of Stilwater as we speak. I am giving you a chance to leverage your assets against your lives, and the lives of your loved ones. Ladies, please show our guests their situation."

The DeWynter sisters brought in a pie chart, and the amount of revenue the Syndicate would seize was a large chunk.

"You may continue to operate the Saints-Ultor media group as you see fit," Viola began. "in exchange for 66% of your monthly gross revenue."

"That is before taxes, of course," Kiki finished.

Anger began to rise up in the boss. "Listen you French fuck-"

"Please!" Phillipe interrupted. "I am Belgian."

"So make yourself a fucking waffle," Gat scoffed. "We're done here."

Phillipe sighed, and a thug aimed a GDHC.50 at Gat's head. "I was so looking forward to a rational business arrangement. And sparing your precious daughters."

Hearing this enraged Gat, and gave him strength to break his metal bonds, and tackle his would-be killer on the floor. After finishing him, the Saint turned his attention to Phillipe. But the Belgian struck first, and in a surprisingly quick motion, stabbed him in the stomach.

"Bad move, motherfucker," Gat said darkly.

He grabbed Phillipe by the shoulders, and struck his head against a window. The impact drew a massive amount of blood from the Belgian, mostly from his now damaged left eye. Across the room, several more armed bodyguards began shooting at them. Gat quickly untied the boss and Shaundi, and then took cover behind the desk.

"Boss, you gotta get the fuck outta here!" Gat exclaimed.

"Not without you," the boss replied.

"Don't worry about me. I can take them. Someone's gotta fly us back to Stilwater, eh?"

"Johnny," Shaundi began. "You can't even drive stick. How you gonna fly a plane?" "Details, details, just cover the boss." Gat quickly tackled a bodyguard to the floor, and grabbed his SMG. "Go, I got this."

Reluctantly, the Boss followed Shaundi out of the room, already hearing the screams of death and carnage.


	8. Downfall

Downfall

"It's no big loss," Callie said. "She's a cheating, lying, good for nothing, evil-"

"I get it," Mike said. "She's no good for me, or anyone else for that matter."

"Just lookin' out for you, bro."

"And can you believe the shit she said to us," Jenny snarled. "Where does that bitch get the idea that we'll be her number two."

"Yeah," Nikki began. "And…oh my fucking god."

In front of them was the burning building known as Purgatory, the Saints headquarters. The building where they grew up in, now in ruin. All around them, purple clad Saints were exchanging gunfire against finely dressed men and women.

"Who the fuck are they?" Callie asked, pulling out her dual Kobra. "Some new gang?"

"They're not here for a drinking game, that's for sure," Mike answered, drawing an AR-50.

A loud scream rang louder than the firefight. The group looked over to the side, and saw Mikaela being dragged by the attackers towards a SUT.

"I'm not up for rescuing that bitch," Callie said. "But I'm not letting the boss' kid get herself shot."

Callie charged straight at them, shooting down any obstacles. Nikki and Jenny enthusiastically followed, shooting randomly with heavy machine guns. With a heart heavy sigh, Mike went in as well, picking off Syndicate minions.

* * *

"Made it," Shaundi said. "And with only a few scratches."

The two Saints, having escaped from Phillipe, made their way to the cargo hold. Many Morning Star members stood in their way, and lost their lives. They noticed several vehicles in different colors other than the Morning Star, implying that they're possibly working with several other groups.

"We can celebrate when we're outta here," the boss said. "Hey, speaking of which, what city is this fucker flying over?"

"Steelport." Shaundi gestured down to the obscenely large skyscrapers that appeared to be adjacent to warehouses. "Bangkok's abusive father."

The boss smiled, and turned on the intercom. "Johnny, we're about to jump."

He heard a few grunts and screams, but for the most part Gat seemed okay. "Right on, man. I'll see you in Stilw-" The line was cut short by gunfire.

The boss, normally a hardcore badass, showed grief. "Johnny?"

The plane lurched forward, bringing the crates and vehicles down on the two Saints. Before they knew it, they found themselves freefalling at high speeds towards Steelport.

* * *

"You're a fucking lifesaver," Mikaela said.

"Just shut up and get in," Jenny growled. She really didn't know why she bothered rescuing her rival, but it somehow seemed like the right thing to do. Now cramped up in her custom Voxel, she turned towards Mike. "So what now?"

"Stilwater's being overrun by all kinds of psychos," he said. "If we say here, the Saints are gonna be finished."

"No we aren't," Nikki said. "We're rich, heavily armed, and got Ultor in our pocket."

"Running away isn't what neither the boss nor Dad would do," Jenny proclaimed proudly. "All in favor of staying raise your hand." She and Nikki were the only ones. "Pussies."

"No, we're being smart," Callie said, starting up the engine. "Now fasten your seatbelt. We gotta go the the airport."

Pierce expected a warm welcome from his fans, wife, and kids. Instead, he was ambushed by nerds armed with swords and pistols made for the homeless. But years of gangbanging ensured that the aspiring singer would be the one to survive, and had. Suddenly, a black and purple Voxel drove up next to him, with the side door open.

"Callie!" Pierce exclaimed. "What the hell is going on?"

"Stilwater's overun with these fools," Callie said. "Now get in. We gotta skip town."

"Let me guess. From a bunch of computer geeks playing bangers?"

"Don't forget the guys dressed in designer suits," Mikaela added. "Oh, and the giant Mexican wrestlers with freakin' multi-barrel grenade cannons."

"Speaking of wrestlers…" Mike said. All turned to see massive green and black trucks driving towards them. "We really should be getting outta here."

* * *

"You're a fucking asshole, you know that?" Shaundi angrily yelled.

"Okay," the boss said. "I deserve that. But I needed to see if Gat was ok, and kill that French bastard."

"But you found neither."

They landed gently on the city that made their native Stilwater look like a civilized palace. All around them were lavish skyscrapers, tacky casinos, shelters, and all things involving vice and death.

Shaundi took a look around and nodded her head. "Ok, Mr. 'I'm the greatest gangbanger in the world,' now what?"

"We get a few million dollars," the boss began. As they walked toward an ATM, they came across obese transvestite prostitutes, disease ridden bums, and cops wearing expensive clothing. "Guns, a ride, and we rescue Gat and kill Phillipe."

Shaundi gave a sarcastic look of amazement at his comment. "I never knew taking out an international crime group was that easy! Tell you know what you should do, wire a book. Call it, 'how to kill a fucking international crime group with a few million bucks and a fucking car!'"

But the boss ignored her and turned to the ATM. He punched a few numbers, and awaited a response. He stayed silent for a long time, not saying a word. Worried, Shaundi looked over his shoulder, and saw that the account was completely empty.

"Boss?" Shaundi asked. "You okay?"

With a ragged scream, he punched the ATM with all his might. It exploded in a shower of sparks and burning dollar bills.

* * *

Barley escaping the Syndicate's forces, Pierce and several lieutenants loaded up several cargo planes with all the bangers they could find, and flew out of Stilwater. Now they were heading for the source of the attack: Steelport.

"Glad we got outta there," Pierce said with a heavy sigh. "If we stayed, we would have been wiped out."

"No we wouldn't," Nikki said. "I mean, we got a lot of firepower and bank from Ultor, and we still got the weapons you guys got from the Brotherhood. So why-"

"Weapons or not," Mike began. "We would have gotten killed. And I seriously doubt that some kid would have resurrected the Saints like the boss did."

"Ok, ok, maybe you've got a point. But we can't just run away. We need to find out where these fuckers are steeing up shop, and take them out."

"Just got a text from Dad," Mikaela announced. "Tell the pilot we're heading to Steelport."

* * *

Shaundi drove like a madwoman. She kept the heel of her boot on the accelerator, and drove over people, fences, and fire hydrants. All the while, the Boss lounged back, smoking a cigar.

"Good thing they left my lighter, huh?" He said, trying to lighten the mood. "Look, I know you're a little upset and that's understandable. But look at the bright side; Callie and Mike are alive, Mikaela's alive, Pierce is alive, and we've got enough guns and manpower to take on the Syndicate. So will you calm down?"

She didn't answer, and continued to drive like someone on a drinking binge. Within minutes, they reached the airport, and the hangar the Saints bought. They got out of the car, and ran over to the plane.

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" Shaundi said, ferociously hugging Mike and Callie. She then turned to Pierce, giving a hard kiss on the lips. "And welcome back."

"Now that that's settled," the Boss said. "We have to think of our next move."

"That bank robbery you guys pulled really set off the Syndicate," Nikki said. "They've already set up ads with prices on our heads."

"And those fuckers sent us this," Jenny said, showing the Boos her phone.

On it was a video of Gat tied to a chair, bruised and beaten. Also in the video was Phillipe, face scarred and with an eyepatch over his left eye.

"To the leader of the Saints," Phillipe began. "I have given you a chance to be one of us. But in your arrogance you refused, and have sentenced you and your gang to death. Mr. Gat here would like to say a few words. Come on, don't be shy."

"Boss…" he began. "They're keeping me at-" But was cut off as Phillipe struck him with a baseball bat. He turned to the camera and smiled.

"If you want to see your right hand again, turn yourself in, and your people may yet live another day, _au revoir_ good sir."

The boss handed back the phone, and punched the nearest crate.

"So what now?" Pierce asked.

The Boss turned to Steelport's skyline. "We take this city for ourselves, and then get back Stilwater."


	9. Soldiers and Goths

Soldiers and Goths

"You gotta be kidding me," Pierce said. In front of them was a layout of the barracks of the National Guard garrison.

The Boss looked Pierce in the eyes, and gave is usual childish grin. "You should know by now, Pierce. I never fuck around."

"This isn't going to end well," Shaundi mumbled.

"It's only a few hundred troopers," Nikki said.

"Just an average day in the 3rd street Saints," Aisha finished.

Shaundi jabbed a finger at the twins. "We're not going to storm in there with guns blazing. And shouldn't you two be at school?"

Nikki rolled her eyes, angering the older Saint. "Not really."

Aisha cocked her head towards the boss. "Boss man here asked us to be his right hands til' we get Dad back." She walked towards Shaundi, and got up in her face. "So until he's back safe and sound, you'll be seeing us around more often."

Shaundi shoved her back. "Okay, okay. But don't be such a dick about it." She turned to the window, staring at the raining cityscape. "I hope the kids don't have to deal with this crap…"

* * *

"This is awesome," Mikaela said, singing an autograph for a random kid. "We're like fucking kings around here."  
Just a day after landing in Steelport, the junior Saints received a warm welcome at Steelport High. Freshmen wanted autographs and pictures, sophomores helped them with tests, and juniors and seniors now served as personal bodyguards.

"Just don't let it go over your head," Lin said. "The Syndicate is bound to have their own here."

"We can deal with them," Christina said. The daughter of a lieutenant, she served as the aide to Mikaela. "They've got nothing on us."

"Other than better weapons and more cash," Kat said. Lin's female best friend, she always thought before doing. "Fifty of us here, and like a thousand of them here. We have to put heads together."

Mikaela sneered, giving another fan an autograph. "What we need is for you to shut up. God, I wish I had Nikki and Aisha here."

"Not like they'd help you," Lin mumbled. She felt a tug on her shirt. Behind her, a nerdy looking girl held out a paper and pen. Sighing, she gave her best smiled and signed another autograph.

* * *

"Get a load of those guys," Reese whispered.

Mike looked to where his male best friend was pointing to a group of kids in various styles of clothing. Some wore the suits and lingerie of Morning Star, others wore gothic clothing, and the rest wore green wrestling suits. All were sitting on an expensive looking glass and gold table, eating gourmet meals.

"So we finally get an appearance of the Luchadores and Deckers," Alexander, one of Mike's lieutenants, said. "They don't look so tough."

"Easy for you to say," George said. "I don't like the look of those Luchadores."

"And those Deckers look like total emos," Brad said. "Fuckers probably cut themselves when they're alone."

"We'll keep our heads down," Mike said. "Try not to draw attention to us."

Suddenly, a boy in a black and red varsity jacket got up on the table, and made an announcement. "Okay people, listen up! Everyone knows how things are run here! The Syndicate kids rule this school, and no one dares to step up." He turned directly to the group of Saints. "Until now."

He jumped down, and walked over to their table. Mike casually leaned back. "Hey man, we don't want any trouble."

"Maybe if your parents haven't robbed Phillipe's bank," said a girl wearing gothic clothes and too much make up. "We wouldn't be having this conversation."

"You said it," a Luchadore in heavy armor replied. "And we demand compensation."

"Such as?"

The Morning Star boy pulled out a pie chart, and shoved it in Mike's face. "Phillipe offered you a chance to live. And you refused."

Mike grabbed his drink, and downed it quickly. "Take it up with the boss, he call the shots."

"Not my problem. You purple fags work for us now."

Reese got up, cocking the barrel of his pistol. "Fuck you say?"

Mike gestured him to sit down. "Why don't we all just settle down and talk like civilized bangers."

The Morning Star boy pulled out a GDHC.50, and shoved his directly at Mike's head. "Shut up, you arrogant fuck."

"Make me."

He was about to pull the trigger when the bell rang. Angrily, he hostilered his weapon and made a cut throat gesture at Mike. "This isn't over." With that, he and the other Syndicate members left.

With nothing else to do, the Saints decided to head to class, knowing that history will probably be crawling with Syndicate members. But as they reached class, they spotted someone they hoped they wouldn't see again.

"Birk!" Mike exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

The actor who helped robbed the bank, left their parents to die, and indirectly sicked the Syndicate on them, gave a charming smile. "I still need to do research for my movie role, so I followed you from Stilwater to here. I came to offer my assistance."

"The only way you can help us, Josh," Lin said, with the female Saints behind her. "Is to get the fuck away from us."

But he ignored her, and eyed up Mikaela. "What about you, miss? Want to have a romantic evening in my hotel room?"

"Kill that fucker!" She screamed.

Normally, Lin wouldn't follow Mikaela's orders. But in the one case, she tackled Josh to the floor, and began mauling him. Within seconds, the other Saints unleashed their anger on the helpless actor.

* * *

"I always win!" Nikki said, blowing up several Bulldogs with her under barrel grenade launcher.

"Be careful with that thing!" Shaundi yelled. "You'll blow us all up if you don't watch it!"

"No worries," Aisha said, shooting a guardsman in the head. "We've been banging since day one. So this isn't new to either of us."

"Glad you're on our side then," the Boss said.

They stormed the National Guard base as planned, but there were more troopers than anticipated. But that didn't seem to faze the twins. If anything, it made them more excited for the raid.

"Just don't forget what we came for," Shaundi yelled. "And try not to blow up _all the cars. We'll need them."_

Aisha was about to answer when something caught her eye. It was a black case with a predator drone logo on it.

"Doesn't look like much," she said. "But appearances can be deceiving." She grabbed the case, and opened it. Suddenly, it turned on, and the screen gave her a bird's eye view of the base. "Hey, I can see my house from here."

Shaundi snatched the case away from her. "I'll be taking that." She studied the various buttons and levers on the case. "Let's see what this thing can do."

* * *

Glad that's over with," Lin said.

"Fucking Syndicate assholes," George mumbled. "Stealing all my shit."

"Get over it," Mikaela said. "Some of them aren't so bad. Take Birk here for example." She pulled the leash she had on the actor.

Lin laughed a little, and then screamed. Before her was her prized Voxel, its windows smashed, dents all over, and a message written on it: get out of town.

"Hey, Lin," Mike began. "Get a load of this-oh shit." He stopped short as soon as he saw her car. "Look at me, sis. It can be fixed. Don't let em' get to you."

* * *

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Nikki said.

The mission was a success, the weapons and vehicles were captured, Reaper Drones were now under Saint Control, and they had a new base to use.

"Don't ever do that again," Shaundi said. "That stunt you pulled with that launcher nearly killed me."

"Don't listen to the old woman," Aisha said, angering Shaundi. "You and I totally kicked ass."

Shaundi was about to aim her rifle when Pierce stopped her. "Shaundi, no. They're just kids; they don't know what they're talking about."

"Yeah, Shaundi," Nikki taunted. "We're just innocent kids; we have no idea what we're talking about."

"I know you're not talking about my mom like that," Lin said, holding Josh's leash.

"Well, well, well," the Boss said. "We've missed you, Birk."

"Hey, homes," Birk stuttered. "Um…how's it going?"

He gestured around the base, with Saints setting up shop. "What does it look like, Birk. We're on the run, we barley have any money, and we got new toys to play with."

"And a new recruit," Lin finished.

Before the Boss could ask, an Asian man walked into the room, leaving him wide eyed. The man's hair was dyed with purple streaks, wore a black and purple racing outfit.

The Boss gathered composed himself, and asked, "What's he doing here?"

"Is that any way to speak to a new recruit?" Donnie asked.

"But you're supposed to be dead!"

"Boss," Lin began. "Let me explain. Donnie here fixed up my car after some Syndicate fucks messed it up. He knows all their hangouts and businesses they run. And we canonized him and everything. And he gave us this." She handed him what look like a large controller.

"What is it?" the Boss asked.

"I call it the RC gun," Donnie said. "It shoots little drones that control all kinds of vehicles. I already tested it on a tank."

Smiling, the Boss aimed it at a Bulldog, and shot. The car came to life, and began to drive around.

"I like it," the boss said. "Alright, he can stay." He turned to Donnie, and patted him on the shoulder. "Welcome to the 3rd street Saints."


	10. Training Day

Training Day

"You sure you should be walking?" Shaundi asked.

"It's only a few scratches," Gat said. After taking Syndicate Tower and killing Phillipe Loren, the Saints found Gat badly injured in a torture chamber next to Loren's office. The twins shed tears of joy and hugged their father, the others were cheering, and the Boss even cried a little. "Nothing can keep me down."

"It seems that way," Angel replied. One of four new lieutenants, Angel was Killbane's former partner, but was demasked by his former friend. "Out of all the Saints I've seen, it looks like the only people who can take on the Syndicate are Gat, me, his daughters, and Oleg here."

"Are you trying to say something?" the Boss asked.

Angel gestured to the group of lieutenants around them. "Look at you all. You may think you're badasses, but against Killbane and the Syndicate, you're just out of shape, arrogant celebreties who sit around saying how tough they are."

"Hey man, why you gotta be like that?" Zimos complained in his sing-song voice. "I ain't not fighter, just a lover."

"So what would you have us do?" Pierce asked. "If you think you're so tough and smart, why don't you educate us? Better yet, train us."

"Don't worry, I will. I'll chisel you out of diamond and make you into living weapons when I'm through with you."

* * *

The scene turned to the boardroom of Syndicate Tower, with Kinzie, Gat, and Donnie planning on how to take down the Deckers. So far, they've got nothing.

"So why'd you join the Saints?" Gat asked. "I'm sure you remember all the shit that happened some years ago? Aren't you at least a little angry at us"

"I should be," Donnie replied. "But for some reason, I'm not. Things like this happen to me all the time, since high school."

"Why don't you ever stand up for yourself?"

Donnie lowered his head down in shame. "I'm just to weak. I couldn't save Price, and I couldn't save Lin from the prick Sharp."

Gat normally didn't feel pity for anyone, but he felt a brief connection. He knew what it was like to be helpless when you couldn't save the people most dear to you. And the mention of his dead sister brought back painful memories.

"From now on, just stick by me, kid," Gat began. He turned to Kinzie. "We got anything on those emo punks?" When she didn't answer, he shouted, "I SAID-"

"You don't have to yell," Kinzie shot back. "I heard you the first time."

"So why didn't you answer me?"

Kinzie turned the monitor to show him why. It was an apartment complex, and the people hanging around the complex were Deckers. "That's why."

* * *

It was early in the morning when Angel woke them up. He broke into their rooms at 4 in the morning and blew a loud trumpet in their faces. They mumbled as he led them into the Penthouse living room.

"Good," Angel said. "You're all awake."

"Blowing a loud horn in our ears does that," Mikaela said.

"So what's the first lesson?" Mike asked.

Angel pointed toward the heliport. "To toughen you up, you all have to experience the worse pain imaginable. The Spartans would torture their young to teach them that pain is only a state of mind that, with training, could be conquered with ease."

"Can't we do this metephorically?" Shaundi asked.

"No. For the first test, you all have to jump from the heliport, parachute down, and land in traffic. Then you'll have to run over to the marker in Sunset Park. It's a five mile jog, so it'll be good cardio excerise. Shaundi, why don't you go first?"

Shaundi scowled at him as she strapped the parachute backpack, walked over to the heliport, and jumped off. When she felt she was low enough, she pulled the cord, and gently landed on the ground. As soon as the lieutenant touched down, a car began speeding toward her. Shaundi quickly jumped out of the way, then looked up.

"What's your fucking problem?" she yelled.

"All part of the test," Angel yelled back. "I hired some people to try to run you over. But don't worry, the bumpers are covered in a material so that if they run you over, you won't die or be scarred for life. And besides, it'll test your reflexes."

Several Hours Later

The Boss panted heavily, leaning on a nearby tree for support. Shaundi, exhausted, let herself fall to the ground and lie on the grass. Pierce, also exhausted, lay right next to her, holding her close to him. Lin and Mike collapsed as soon as they reached the park, covered in bruises. Mikaela, miracously, was already here by the time the Boss came. When it was her turn to go through Angel's test, she dodged the cars with ease, and ran five miles much faster than a normal person would. If she didn't inherit his charisma, he thought, Mikaela proably got his endurance.

* * *

"Already you have all faced the fires of hell through Trail Blazing," Angel said from behind the soundproof glass. The entire room was sealed off, the doors were locked and the glass windows were reinforced. The music system was overhauled as well, with dozens of speakers all over the living room. For this exercise, the Saints were to be tied to chairs. "But that isn't enough. Now you must hear hell."

"Hear hell?" Lin asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Angel didn't respond. They watched him hook up an iPod into the sound system, and after a few moments, they suddenly understood what he mean by "hearing hell." The song the Saints were now forced to hear was the worst ever made.

"Is that-?" Pierce asked.

"Oh god, no!" Mikaela screamed. "Angel, I will set myself on fire and cut my eyes out before I listen to that shitty song! Please, anything but this!"

"It has to be done," Angel said. "Did you know the U.S. and several other countries have begun using "Friday" as a means of torture?"

"No, and frankly, I don't give a fuck!" He brought his hand to his ears, then felt wet. Blood covered his hands, and the Boss started feeling it pouring out of his ears. He got down on his knees, and screamed.

* * *

As soon as the elevator reached the top floor, Kinzie stumbled inside, landing on a couch. Behind her, Gat, Donnie, and the twins followed shortly, finishing their milkshakes.

"Is she ok?" Donnie asked, concerned.

"She'll be fine," Gat replied. "I'm suprised that isn't you laying on that couch there." He smelled a strange, metallic smell in the air. That's when he saw the motionless bodies of the Saints. "Oh shit..."

Nikki walked over to Shaundi, sprawled on the floor and blood comming from her ears. She then dumped what was left of her milkshake on her, waking her up instantly.

"What the fuck?" Shaundi exclaimed.

"She's alive," Nikki said flatly.

The others stirred, waking up moaning and painfully. Then the Boss phone began ringing.

"What now?" he asked.

"Are you ready for the final test?" Angel asked.

"You have a very funny meaning for ready."

"Come on over to the gym, alone. What I'm about to put you through is only for the leaders."

The Boss grumbled, and stormed out of the penthouse. Gat looked around the room, and noticed barriers of some kind.

"What gives?" he asked.

Mikaela gave him a long stare, and said, "That mad man is the worse trainer of all time." She walked over to the elevator, and looked back. "If anyone needs me, I'll be at Image as Designed, getting my ears fixed."


	11. Finale

Last

Johnny Gat kicked a STAG operative between the legs, then finished him off with a bullet to the head. Behind him, Oleg, Pierce, and the Boss shot wildly at both STAG and Luchadores.

"I know they've got a lot of people," Gat began. "But this is fucking ridiculous."

Oleg grabbed a Luchadore by the head, and threw him into a trio of his fellow wrestlers. "I would have thought the famous Johnny Gat would be enjoying shedding blood?"

"I'm not getting younger, big man."

"Got that right," Pierce replied.

"Less talking and more shooting," the Boss yelled. "The sooner we're done with these losers, the faster we can get back to Stilwater."

Gat turned to him. "What, you got something important back home?"

Before he could answer, his phone began vibrating. "Sup?"

"Killbane's planning on leaving Steelport!" Angel exclaimed.

"What?"

"What!" The Boss yelled.

"He's at the airport, there isn't much Time!"

"But what about-"

"No, I can't let him win! _We can't let him win_!" Angel cried.

"Just hold on a sec!" His phone had beeped, signaling that he had another Call.

"Hello, Saint," a woman's voice greeted.

"Kia, how's my favorite psycho commando doing?" the Boss asked with heavy sarcasm. "Why don't you just fuck off and hook us on probation."

"That won't solve anything. People need to wake up to the death and violence you bring. Once the Steelport statue gets blown to hell, your true colors will be shown."

"Listen hon, we Saints may have done a lot of shit, but we aren't domestic terrorists."

"I don't think anyone will believe anything you say when they find Mikaela, Shaundi, and Viola's bodies in the wreckage. See you soon."

She hung up. The Boss was filled with such rage that he began squeezing the phone he held, breaking it into pieces.

"Fuck Killbane!' Pierce exclaimed. "he ain't losing our girls. You can't let Shaundi die! Hell, you can't let your own daughter die!"

Still unsure about his choice, the Boss turned to Oleg.

"If you let Killbane escape, everything they have worked for would be for nothing," Oleg explained. "I am sorry, but it is either Killbane escaping or your daughter dying."

"Fuck that!" Gat said. "You get that STAG ho, I'll help Angel take care of Killbane."

* * *

At the penthouse apartment, dozens of Saints were fighting off both STAG and Luchadores. Callie shot a Luchadore specialist, then stabbed a STAG trooper that came too close to her. Nearby, a dozen commandos surrounded Mike. A few seconds later, there were twelve new cadavers.

"Don't these fuckers know when to quit?" Mike asked. "I know these military types are dedicated, but come on!"

"That's what you get for joining the army," Callie answered back, kicking an oncoming STAG between the legs. "Getting kicked in the balls." She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She took it out and read the screen. "Just got a message from Nikki. Gat wants us to meet him and Angel over at the airport. With Killbane's mask."

"What for?"

She didn't reply. Callie dialed into her phone, and answered, "Donnie, get my car ready. And bring the mask."

* * *

The Boss was on a rampage. He went butchered his way through anyone in his way, leaving behind a blood soaked trail of broken bodies. Kinzie was waiting for them, holding the Sonic Cannon the Boss stole from STAG.

"Talk to me, Kinzie," The Boss said.

"They're keeping Mikaela, Viola, Shaundi, and Mayor Reynolds under the statue," She stated. "And they've set up charges all over the base."

"We'll I guess someone's gonna have to get rid of em'."

"You're not a walking Deus Ex Machina!" Kinzie handing the Sonic Cannon to the Boss. "You'll need to use this to knock the explosives away from the statue"

"What about you?"

"I'll be watching from the surveillance monitors," Kinzie gave both Saints a hard look. "So don't you dare screw up, or I'll see…"

* * *

By the time they arrived at the airport, everything was done. Killbane's plane was destroyed, his Luchadores dead, and Killbane himself was held at gunpoint by Nikki and Jenny. Gat and Angel were standing nearby. Callie got out of her car, and ran over to them. Mike and Donnie followed suit.

"Got the mask?" Gat asked.

"Right here," she said, pulling it out of her pocket. "But what do you need it for?"

"It's not for me." He took the mask, and handed it to Angel. "It's for him."

Angel turned to Killbane, who didn't meet his gaze. He grabbed his former friend by the collar, so he could look him in the eyes. "For years, I lived in disgrace and shame while you lived in fame and luxury. The first time we fought, you cheated. The second, you sicked your Luchadores on me. Now there's only me and you." He gestured to the twins, and they backed off. "I want to finish this once and for all."

Angel threw the mask before Killbane, and put on his own. Killbane stood up, and put his mask on as well.

"What about them?" Killbane asked, putting his mask on. "How do I know you won't sick your little Saints friends?"

"Cause we aren't cheating bastards like you," Jenny called out.

"That's right!" Nikki added.

"So let's finish this," Angel said, raising his fists.

Killbane raised his right fist, but Angel dodged and punched his abdomen. Just as everyone knew he would, Killbane cheated by kicking Angel in the groin. But Angel took the pain, and punched him hard in the face. They continued to spar for a few minutes, absorbing and delivering pain. Killbane noticed that Angel was beginning to tire, and delivered a rapid succession of punches that drove the Saint to the ground. He tried to get up, but Killbane kept at it, kicking him. All the while, the Saints just stood watching.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Mike asked.

"It's Angel's fight," Gat said. "They guy's been obsessed with this, so now he's getting it."

"What if he gets-" Mike stopped when he saw Angel getting up and knocking Killbane to the ground. "Never mind."

Angel took a few steps back, then body slammed on him. When Killbane tired to stand up, Angel had him in a choke hold, and just as Killbane did to him years ago, Angel took his mask off.

"There," he said, kicking Killbane onto the ground. "Now we're even.'

"Ok, you got your revenge," Gat said. "Now let's waste him." Gat pulled out his gun and aimed it at Killbane's head.

"No!" he begged. He got down on his knees and gripped Gat's let. "Please, no! Don't finish me! I'm just an entertainer of the mindless masses!"

"Trying to kill us wasn't entertainment, you fuck!"

"Please don't!"

Gat turned to Angel. "What do you think?"

Angel shrugged. "I already redeemed myself. I say spare him."

Gat sighed heavily. "Fine." He holstered his gun. "Guess it's your lucky day, Pryor."

Killbane stood up, eyes wide. "So what am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't fucking know."

"You can't just leave me here!"

"Dad, why not let him join the Saints?" Jenny suggested.

"It'd be better than letting him run loose," Nikki added. "I mean, look at Donnie here. He was with the Rollerz and Brotherhood, and look how he turned out."

Gat turned to Donnie, who was smoking a joint. Nikki had a point. It was better to keep Killbane on a short leash than let him run free.

"Alright," Gat said. "Pryor, as of today, you ain't a Luchadore anymore. You're a Saint now."

"You mean you're sparing me?" he asked. "Thank you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

"But you don't get in just like that. You gotta get canonized."

Before he could ask, the group was on Killbane, punching and kicking him mercilessly.

* * *

The Boss blew the last bomb away from the statue, then used the cannon to blow off the last STAG soldier. He quickly ran up the stairs, only to be confronted by a shocking sight. Viola, Shaundi, and the Mayor were all hogtied, while Kia held Mikaela in a chokehold, aiming her Viper laser rifle at the two Saints. Seeing his child held hostage, the Boss was about to charge forward when Kia shot at the Boss' feet.

"I'm surprised you came," Kia said with malice.

"No one fucks with my daughter!" the Boss yelled. "or my Crew!"

"Really? Lin, Carlos, Aisha, what about them? And you almost let Johnny get killed."

"Those grenades should buy you some time," Viola called out.

Kia started shooting at him. The Boss took cover behind a crate, grabbed one of the strange grenades, and threw it at Kia. Unable to stand the horrific smell, Kia let go of Mikaela, giving the Boss the edge he needed. He finished off the commando with a head shot. The Boss gripped Mikaela in a tight hug.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," he said. Letting go, the Boss quickly untied the others.

An hour later, dozens of reporters came as soon as the Saints reached the base of the statue, mobbing them with questions. A helicopter landed nearby, and an angry Monica Hughes stormed out of it.

"Let's go home," the Boss said.

After saying that, the Saints found themselves surrounded by Cyrus and a dozen commandos.

"Hold it right there," the STAG commander said.

Mikaela glared at him. "Unless the next words that come out of your mouth are thank you, then we've got a big problem."

"She has a point, commander," Monica said. "Like it or not, the Saints are heroes."

"Are you shitting me lady?"

"You declared Martial Law and knocked down half the city! They just saved a treasured monument so who the fuck the public will side with?" The senator turned to the mod of reporters. "Yes I can answer any questions!"

The Saints started walking until Cyrus grabbed the Boss's arm.

"They can give you the key to the goddamn city," he began. "but if you screw up STAG is gonna put you down."

"Love you too, Cyrus," the Boss said.

As they left, Mikaela stopped and walked over to Cyrus. She slapped him then kicked him in the balls. He got down to his knees and screamed in pain.

"Kidnap me again," she warned. "And I'll have your other grandkids run over by monster trucks!" She ran back over the Saints, who were shocked.

"Umm…nicely threatened?" Viola said, in a frightened tone.

"And what did you mean other grandkids run over by monster trucks?" Shaundi asked.

"I had Kinzie do some digging after Cyrus made that speech about Jessica," the Boss explained. "Turns out he's her grandfather. Which explains why he's so fixated on us."

"So now what? Go back to Stilwater?"

The Boss smiled. "Not yet."

* * *

Stilwater High School

"So what do you think that bitch wants now?" Callie asked.

"Maybe she's still upset about me snatching her vodka," Mike said.

Callie rolled her eyes and sighed. "Mike, when are you ever going to learn."

They reached the principal's office, and opened the door. Sitting behind the desk with a stern look was none other than Principal DeWynter. The two Saints took their usual seat whenever they were called over.

"Do you know why you're here?" she asked.

Mike shrugged. "No one knows why we're here. It's a question that's been asked by dozens of philosophers for thousands of years. What's our propose? Our reason for existence?"

The Principal sighed. "No, Michael, what I mean is do you know why you and your sister were called over here to this office?"

Callie stood up and yelled, "Listen, bitch! I don't have to take crap from…don't have to take shit from…fuck! Line!"

"Take five!" the director called out. He walked over to Callie and lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Don't take it too hard, kid. Just try to get it through your head."

She nodded, and the director walked away. Callie turned to Mike and Viola. "Umm…sorry."

"Ah, don't worry about it," Mike said.

"You're doing much better than the Boss is," Viola said. "Believe me, he needs help."


End file.
